Thursday, November 30, 2017

As I had forgotten that I have a blog, and thankfully, every other person on the planet (even the bots, Russian and otherwise) have forgotten as well, I have a place to publish my scant offerings of words where no one will EVER see them.  Win-Win, I tell you!  I get the satisfaction of putting my work out into the universe without any of the repercussions of other human beings ever seeing them.  Yay me! 

I'm starting a little experiment this month and I'll share it here.  I am trying to write, unfettered, for five minutes every morning, a la Anne Lamott's "shitty first draft".  The only exception is that these are not really first drafts, per se.  There will never be second drafts.  I'm using a book of writing prompts designed for junior high or high school students.  Right on target for where I'm at in my writing these days.  Probably a stretch. 

Nevertheless, by pressing "publish", I'm committing to doing this.  Even if no one ever sees.  I'm like that tree that falls in the forest without anyone around to hear. 

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Give or take a few, these are some of the books I've read over the past two years.  The titles in bold type are what I would highly recommend.

Blessed Are the Cheesemakers
Lynch, Sarah-Kate *

An Incomplete and Inaccurate History of Sport: . .and Other Random Thoughts from Childhood to Fatherhood
Mayne, Kenny

American Dreamers: The Wallaces and The Reader's Digest: An Insider's Story
Canning, Peter

Burning Bright
Chevalier, Tracy *

Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister
Maguire, Gregory

A Man Called Peter: The Story of Peter Marshall
Marshall, Catherine

Out of the Silent Planet (Space Trilogy, #1)
Lewis, C.S.

Some Luck (Last Hundred Years: A Family Saga, #1)
Smiley, Jane *

Early Warning (Last Hundred Years: A Family Saga, #2)
Smiley, Jane *

Eligible (The Austen Project #4)
Sittenfeld, Curtis *

Funny Girl
Hornby, Nick

Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck
Alkon, Amy

The Husband's Secret
Moriarty, Liane *

When Breath Becomes Air
Kalanithi, Paul

Erdrich, Louise

Sick in the Head: Conversations About Life and Comedy
Apatow, Judd

Saint Maybe
Tyler, Anne

My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey
Taylor, Jill Bolte

The Summer Before the War
Simonson, Helen *

300 Sandwiches: A Multilayered Love Story . . . with Recipes
Smith, Stephanie

Buddhaland Brooklyn
Morais, Richard C. *

My Name Is Lucy Barton
Strout, Elizabeth

I Remember Nothing: and Other Reflections
Ephron, Nora

After You (Me Before You, #2)
Moyes, Jojo *

The Girl in the Red Coat
Hamer, Kate *

The Marriage of Opposites
Hoffman, Alice *

The Sparrow (The Sparrow, #1)
Russell, Mary Doria *

Saint Mazie
Attenberg, Jami *

The Martian
Weir, Andy *

As Good as Dead
Evans, Elizabeth *

Counting by 7s
Sloan, Holly Goldberg *

The Pope's Daughter
Fo, Dario

The Wonder of All Things
Mott, Jason *

The Nightingale
Hannah, Kristin *

The Little Paris Bookshop
George, Nina *

The Girl on the Train
Hawkins, Paula *

Many Waters (A Wrinkle in Time Quintet, #4)
L'Engle, Madeleine

After You (Me Before You, #2)
Moyes, Jojo *

Franzen, Jonathan

A Spool of Blue Thread
Tyler, Anne

Daughter of the Queen of Sheba: A Memoir
Lyden, Jacki

The Sellout
Beatty, Paul

The Circle
Eggers, Dave

The Invention of Wings
Kidd, Sue Monk *

Inside the O'Briens
Genova, Lisa *

The Rosie Effect (Don Tillman, #2)
Simsion, Graeme *

One Plus One
Moyes, Jojo *

You Could Be Home by Now
Manaster, Tracy *

The Love Song of Miss Queenie Hennessy (Harold Fry, #2)
Joyce, Rachel

Why Not Me?
Kaling, Mindy

Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things
Lawson, Jenny *

The Book of Speculation
Swyler, Erika

Nora Webster
Tóibín, Colm

Everybody's Got Something
Roberts, Robin

The Boston Girl
Diamant, Anita *

Searching for Sunday: Loving, Leaving, and Finding the Church
Evans, Rachel Held

Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls
Sedaris, David

The Hundred Days
Roth, Joseph

Reichl, Ruth

Looking for Me
Hoffman, Beth *

First Frost (Waverley Family, #2)
Allen, Sarah Addison *

Yes Please
Poehler, Amy

All the Light We Cannot See
Doerr, Anthony *

Love, Death and the Ladies' Drill Team
West, J.

Lost Lake (Lost Lake, #1)
Allen, Sarah Addison *

The Good Lord Bird
McBride, James *

Winner of the National Book Award: A Novel of Fame, Honor, and Really Bad Weather
Willett, Jincy

Jesus Feminist: An Invitation to Revisit the Bible’s View of Women
Bessey, Sarah *

The Great Divorce: a Nineteenth-Century Mother's Extraordinary Fight Against Her Husband, the Shakers, and Her Times
Woo, Ilyon

Milford, Nancy

7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess
Hatmaker, Jen

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life
Miller, Donald

Thoreau, Henry David

The Call of the Wild
London, Jack

The Lost Princess: A Double Story
MacDonald, George

Several Short Sentences About Writing
Klinkenborg, Verlyn

The Smart One
Close, Jennifer *

The International Bank of Bob: Connecting Our Worlds One $25 Kiva Loan at a Time
Harris, Bob *

Fear of Flying
Jong, Erica

Servants' Hall: A Real Life Upstairs, Downstairs Romance
Powell, Margaret

Data, A Love Story: How I Gamed Online Dating to Meet My Match
Webb, Amy *

The Sleepy Hollow Family Almanac
D'Agostino, Kris

Blood & Beauty: The Borgias
Dunant, Sarah

What We Talk about When We Talk about God
Bell, Rob

The Silence of Bonaventure Arrow
Leganski, Rita

Jujitsu Rabbi and the Godless Blonde: A True Story
Dana, Rebecca

The Middlesteins
Attenberg, Jami *

Hikikomori and the Rental Sister: A Novel
Backhaus, Jeff *

Flight Behavior
Kingsolver, Barbara

Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit
Winterson, Jeanette

The Rosie Project (Don Tillman, #1)
Simsion, Graeme *

The Light Between Oceans
Stedman, M.L. *

Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail
Strayed, Cheryl *

The Next Best Thing
Weiner, Jennifer *

The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P.
Waldman, Adelle *

The World's Strongest Librarian: A Memoir of Tourette's, Faith, Strength, and the Power of Family
Hanagarne, Josh *

God's Hotel: A Doctor, a Hospital, and a Pilgrimage to the Heart of Medicine
Sweet, Victoria

Thursday, August 04, 2016

I've Always Wanted to Work in a Bookstore. And Live in the Appalachians. And Be a Quaker.

The Little Bookstore of Big Stone Gap: A Memoir of Friendship, Community and the Uncommon Pleasure of a Good Book. This book, by Ethnographer and Used Bookstore Owner, Wendy Welch, is the book I wish I could have written. It is a love song to books, bookstores, and reading and makes me dream of, perhaps, becoming a Quaker and moving to The Appalachians. I loved every part of this book, from the epigraphs to the acknowledgements. Every single page. Every single word. What Wendy Welch writes of is the stuff of my dreams.

Vacation and Murder

I have this crazy little dream to visit all of the state capitol buildings in the United States. I have a few under my belt.

California's is my favorite thus far, simply because I am SO IN LOVE with my home state.

New York was definitely the most sculptural. If you are ever in Albany and have have the chance to go inside, the hundreds of delicately hand carved faced in the sandstone walls are stunning. A little creepy, but in a super cool way.

Connecticut holds a special place in my heart because my eldest son and I were able to get access to the staircase that takes you to the top of the dome and the walkway ON THE OUTSIDE! We were on the outside of the very top of the building, people! Outside! My spidey skills were itching to be used. With great power comes great responsibility, you know, so I held it together and just took a few photos.

Wyoming's building in Cheyenne is the only capitol building to have a statue of a woman in front. Go Wyoming!

North Dakota? Seriously? You could do so much better than a 70's era office building that has a sign that says North Dakota State Capitol. I expected so much more from the noble Dakotans.

Every building I visit has it's own fabulous feature: statues, tributes, mile high markers (how could I ever forget you, Colorado?). With each visit I learn more about our country and the uniqueness of each state. With each visit, I feel more a part of America. I feel connected.

Sarah Vowell's hilarious and historical book "The Assassination Vacation" is like a visit to a state capitol for me, if wandering around the outside of capitol buildings checking for unlocked doors was the same thing as visiting sites related to presidential assassinations. Reading it gave me a sense of connection to historical events that have shaped the country I live in today. It helped me feel connected. It helps me to remember, as much as the situationally racist orange guy likes to shout it, America isn't worse off today than it was when President Lincoln skulked about, being all emancipatory and stuff.

Here's the deal, studying history, especially history delivered in a relevant and engaging way, helps us to see that there is truly nothing new under the sun. Even if it does feel like we are all going to hell in a handbasket that we bought at Wal-Martville made by child laborers, it's all going to be o.k. When I read of the shitshow that was the Republican nominating convention of 1880, where James Garfield was nominated to be the presidential candidate in the 36th round of voting, my heart stops palpitating for a moment at the thought of the current pile of ridiculousness that we are calling politics. It's all going to be o.k. When we take the time to examine what has happened in the past and how we, both individually and as a collective people, have managed to make it through relatively unscathed (well, except for Lincoln, Garfield and McKinley, in this case), it can provide the perspective that the tiny little moment of time we are experiencing right at this very moment isn't all there is. In the grand scheme of things, it's just that: a tiny, little moment. It only seems all-encompassing to us because that is all we are able to see.

State capitol buildings, presidential assassination sites, plaques on large rocks in Upstate New York, whatever it takes to move someone to study the history of their place, whatever it takes to help people to calm the heck down and realize that it's all going to be o.k. We've gone through muck and mire before, we've been afraid of change before, we've watched our leaders be total buttheads and make butthead-ish decisions before, and still, we have survived. In fact, some might think we've become a better place because of it. All I know is I love capitol buildings and have about 40 to go. Watch out South Dakota, unlock those doors and polish up the dome, because I am coming for you!

Thursday, April 07, 2016

I Am Too Much

I am too much.

too loud
too big
too emotional
too wordy
too needy
too sensitive
too pessimistic
too depressed
too fat
too indecisive
too scary
too intense
too passionate
too distant
too liberal
too conservative
too vulnerable
too transparent
too too too much.

And still.

I am never enough.

Monday, April 04, 2016

When All You Have is a Paper Placemat

Save the waitresses, I am the only woman in the whole restaurant. The counter, the booths, the tables are all occupied by old men. A few sit by themselves, absorbed in their newspapers and eggs. Most of them, though, sit in groups of three or four. They talk about the things of those who aren't old enough to be elderly but for whom youth is faint. From the corner booth, I hear snippets of wives, of diabetes, of boyhood fistfights. Bravado is gone and these men, in their knit beanies, remember being afraid to fight but doing it anyway. The tenderness with which they treat one another is wrapped in a crunchy layer of ribbing and is beautiful.

For that one, serene coffee shop moment, I see these men as the they boys they once were, that they still are, behind their grey beards and their glasses and the careful chewing of toast.

Monday, January 02, 2012

Not About Books.

I read this, today, on one of my favorite blogs. Jenny Lawson, a broad with whom I would like to drink gin, shared a beautiful, heart wrenching, bare to the bones post about her fight against depression and anxiety disorder. I have nothing to add to it except this: me too.

Here it is. Thanks Bloggess. Read the entire post here:

If you follow me on twitter you already know that I’ve been battling off one of the most severe bouts of depression I’ve ever had. Yesterday it started to pass, and for the first time in weeks I cried with relief instead of with hopelessness. Depression can be crippling, and deadly. I’m lucky that it’s a rare thing for me, and that I have a support system to lean on. I’m lucky that I’ve learned that depression lies to you, and that you should never listen to it, in spite of how persuasive it is at the time.

When cancer sufferers fight, recover, and go into remission we laud their bravery. We call them survivors. Because they are.

When depression sufferers fight, recover and go into remission we seldom even know, simply because so many suffer in the dark…ashamed to admit something they see as a personal weakness…afraid that people will worry, and more afraid that they won’t. We find ourselves unable to do anything but cling to the couch and force ourselves to breathe.

When you come out of the grips of a depression there is an incredible relief, but not one you feel allowed to celebrate. Instead, the feeling of victory is replaced with anxiety that it will happen again, and with shame and vulnerability when you see how your illness affected your family, your work, everything left untouched while you struggled to survive. We come back to life thinner, paler, weaker…but as survivors. Survivors who don’t get pats on the back from coworkers who congratulate them on making it. Survivors who wake to more work than before because their friends and family are exhausted from helping them fight a battle they may not even understand.

Regardless, today I feel proud. I survived. And I celebrate every one of you reading this. I celebrate the fact that you’ve fought your battle and continue to win. I celebrate the fact that you may not understand the battle, but you pick up the baton dropped by someone you love until they can carry it again. I celebrate the fact that each time we go through this, we get a little stronger. We learn new tricks on the battlefield. We learn them in terrible ways, but we use them. We don’t struggle in vain.

We win.

We are alive.

Note: Again, as much as I would love to write this movingly, this is not my work and was originally posted on She's amazing. And funny. Read her blog.

Friday, December 09, 2011

Broads with whom I would drink gin.

I think Kristin Chenoweth and I should be BFF's.

In fact, if I could have a cocktail party with some famous women, she would top the list.

She and Bette Midler.

And Dolly Parton. Shoot, Olympia Dukakis could come too, if she wasn't busy.

For that matter, most anyone in the cast of "Steel Magnolias" would be welcome. Daryl Hannah might have to bring some gin. I always seem to run out.

And as long as we are completely ignoring all sense of reality, I would love for Eleanor Roosevelt to stop by. She'd be a hoot. We'd definitely need more gin. Bring two bottles, Daryl.

While we're at it, let's just send an invite to Rita Moreno, Julia Child and Jenny Lawson, too. If you haven't read Jenny's blog, The Bloggess, you need to. I really mean it. I hope she wears her wolf suit to the party. That would rock like a hurricane.

Added to the list, just recently, is Ree Drummond. She is more widely known at the Pioneer Woman and her blog often leaves me with tears running down my cheeks from laughing and drool dribbling off of my chin from her delicious recipes. I read her adorable memior, "Black Heels and Tractor Wheels", on my 20th anniversary weekend with my fabulous husband. He doesn't like to talk while he drives. I get more than a little antsy if there is more than 5 minutes of unoccupied silence. I have to read in order to stay married and not dropped on the side of the road somewhere. It's for my own good.

"Black Heels and Tractor Wheels" is a sweet, sweet story of how she and her husband met, fell in love and married. Sweet, sweet, sweet. My poor husband had to listen to me oohing and ahhing the entire drive. Poor guy.